The Oakland A’s Twitter account told Wendy’s that its hamburgers cause diarrhea

If you’re not on Twitter all day, trapped by the constant psyche-chewing hurricane of current events and bad opinions, this might be hard to follow, but I’ll try. On Twitter, there are brands. Some of these brands are cheeky. Of these cheeky brands, the Wendy’s brand is one of the cheekiest.

I’m still paying student loans because I went to college to write about stuff like this.

Anyway, so someone on Twitter who appreciated the cheekiness of the Oakland Athletics official account wanted to know who would win in a Brand War. And the A’s, being cheeky, decided to play along:

No. 6 overall national seed TCU jumped up on Missouri State early in the Fort Worth super, netting four runs in the first three innings. The Bears did manage a first-inning home run from leadoff batter Hunter Steinmetz, but they were stonewalled through the middle stretches.

In the Gainesville super regional, Florida came down off the high of the season’s first walkoff win and got into an early 4-2 hole against Wake Forest. But in the top of the fifth, the Gators managed to tie things up at four apiece all to the tune of a Dalton Guthrie sac fly to right center.

Wake Forest then crossed a run in the bottom of the frame to pull ahead, 5-4, and then the rains came. But no one tell these dedicated Gator fans.

The game will be the face-off that never was in 2016. Kershaw and Strasburg were the set starters about this time last season in L.A., but it wasn’t to be. Strasburg was scratched pregame for an upper-back strain. What was supposed to be a matchup for the ages turned into simply another dominating outing from Kersh. He would hold the Nationals offense to just one run that night, and his teammates would support him with four against long-man turned starter for a night (basically Cinderella) Yusmeiro Petit.

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